Fanstasy Man

On a recent globe and mail article it was noted that women are not aroused mentally and physically by the same things- duh!
Then I realized that what was interesting me was the man in the Ikea kitchen commercial- coming home and caring on about -in his Italian accent- how he was going to make his wife feel like a woman again by cooking for her! yupper- that will get our attention and get you what you
want!
That night I had my first-- fantasy dream- a good looking dark haired man was standing back admiring a wall freshly painted in my home. ..... I was so happy.
Then- as you know how dreams are-- I knew that he had also fixed other things in my house- and knew there was more to be done!
I was in love---- had he been a 'real man'-- he would of got some 'pie' with his dinner, his beer/wine that night.
Women still get turned on by men 'rescuing' them in some way- being kind, the knight on the white horse....
So, how boring am I - that is the closest I have ever come to having a 'fantasy dream'-- but what a man!

Would you like to date in an earlier time?

Interesting question and one recently surveyed on a dating site.
What I found intriguing was the men would like to date in an earlier time and the women were "hell no."
Kind of corresponds with the book out there- from an earlier post--. I think men feel more comfortable with the 'old rule' then they do now and do not know what the rules are if any at all.
Women, I guess, like the no hold bars that is life with us now.
So......... it seems men are much more old-fashioned then women!
News to me-- but then I guess I am a throw-back from the old days.......!
hmmmm- who knew!
any ideas on this? Now I could use some help from you men- as I obviously do not understand women either.

Courtly behvaiour

This outrage over the 90 day rule being spewed from the author of 'Act like a lady and think like a Man', seems to be getting more fuss from the ladies then the men.
That may be 'cause most men know they can easily get the milk after the max of 3 dates...... and women cry " I am equal- I can have sex too.' Both opinions true.
However, I know many women, who still at this age, still sit by the phone wondering if he will call after she gives up the booty call early.
While this will outrage 'feminists' I agree- casual sex does not come free for most women- they do feel used if no return affection is offered by the man. The man is simply happy.
I believe in 'feminism' but to me the word is the power of being feminine- I don't think there is any weakness in thinking and acting like a woman.
I still want and expect the dates booked three days in advance, a call the day to confirm, a nice place for dinner, some conversation, a reason to be interested in this man.
You take me for a cheap coffee and think I am going to put out --- nope!
Then, these men have the audacity to call me a gold-digger.... Well lets make another name up
"Pussy-digger'--- those men who expect a piece of 'pie' to go with their coffee.
Funny, it is the same men who lament about finding a nice decent woman..... but will not make the effort when they find one.
Gentlemen- flowers are not bad, good manners are nice-- also please do not spend the entire evening talking about your divorce, your money and your company!
Also, recently, I have a post in lava life and note I am not interested in camping, fishing, hunting or gold- I like the arts...... So, why then would a man that seemed interested in me continue to ask me out (and I thought he had potential so I went a few times) but then he asked me to hockey games, car shows----- and the entire time was wearing either a touque perched on top of his head like some sort of cone- or an old dirty baseball cap with some sort of car part supplier on it!
He seemed like a nice enough guy- but sorry he showed no interest in what my wants and likes were! Women have for years put aside their want and desires to raise kids and husbands and now in our -middle age are looking for a companion- someone to share things with- a friend.
When you are young great sex can get you through life (for awhile) until you reach middle- age and realize you have nothing in common. So, at this age I think most folks should look for someone that shares common interests, goals, perhaps have some of the same life experiences-- and not just look for the hot 50 year old to drag into bed.

creating interest over 40

The debate rages about the desire for intimacy and the lack there-of
Many philosophists will argue that living a safe existence is not living at all- stepping outside of our comfort zones is what keeps us alive and actually involved in our lives.
The same is said for passion- passion is fueled by the unknown, the unexpected the perhaps slightly dangerous, out of reach.
That may be one of the reason we all see men and or women with partners that are perhaps a touch 'rough on the edges'- but they have a power, a passion about them...... some call it the bad boy or slut edge.
It may be but in order to keep passion I think you need to keep mystery, and jeez- I am not a bad looking middle-aged women and do you think men of this age are willing to go the mile to 'impress me'? Nope- it would seem everyone is so burnt out that no-one single is willing to go the extra mile-- if that is what is in singledom-- then you can only imagine what is happening to those poor souls mated for life!
UGHHH- sorry but the more I write this blog and chat on-line the more I am actually getting jaded and think single is the best-- actually I have thought that for awhile ---
but I am getting to the point of frustration so lets start a series on how to kink it up-- you would be surprised at how secure those relationships are where the partners do share their fantasies (that are mutually agreed on)
Come on- you have always wanted a bath slave....... okay I digress-- tomorrow I will finally work on this how to be a lady in public, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in private ( and don't get it backwards)

lovers from the past

Sex and the married life

This of course is a common thread- and I have wondered, discussed and pondered this problem for years so here goes!
Why is that folks who are married are scared to share their fantasies with their partners then complain of having no sex!
Okay I am going to let go here--
Men, if you have a premature ejaculation problem - take care of it before you bother your partner-- in addition, the back hair, improper 'down there grooming' and the huge belly is not attractive to us. Take some responsibility to groom yourself so you are attractive to us women.
I know- us women must make the effort as well- I am with you- but this is my blog and I am so sick of hearing overweight ungroomed men complain (I live in red neck Edmonton) so that should clear that up.
Now- armed with clean and shiny faces and other parts, meds for the 'dinky-do'--- nice smile, good attitude and some early morning flirting with your partner you just might get some!

Why not share your real fantasy with your partner- pretend you are having an affair with them arrange to meet for a lunch (yes- even take the afternoon off of work) meet them for lunch - and share you favorite wild fantasy. Many married folks are so afraid to actually share who they are with their partners but have no problem sharing with a prostitute or 'other'. This is done out of fear- fear of rejection.
Yet, interesting the most common fantasy is that of domination and submission- and or 'bondage'..... yup even your uptight little wife most likely deep down either wants to be tied up or wants to bend you over a bench and give your hairy behind a nice rap with a lovely little black whip!
More on this tomorrow-- but why not share with your partner? Go have an affair.

Angelina or Jennifer

I find it rather amusing that men drool over Angelina- and her type of woman. Strong, confident, sexy, self-assured and a touch wild. .... but they are afraid of her type. They want a woman like that and then want to tame her---- or just have one like that for fun.

Jennifer is the 'type' they marry, cute, not as dangerous and easily more controllable.

Yawnnnnn.......... if I was a man I would like to have the cajones to go after and keep a woman like Angelina happy-- but that would take a self-assured confident man!

Any comments?

married or dead

SARAH HAMPSON
From Thursday's Globe and Mail
February 19, 2009 at 12:58 AM EST
What is a wife? A dead girl.
That is the message – unintentional, mind you – of a painting by French artist Gustave Courbet that belongs to Smith College, a famously feminist all-women's institution in Northampton, Mass.
The 1850s-era work depicts a young bride surrounded by women who are helping her prepare for her wedding. But for many years, there were questions about it. Why is the bride's head slightly lopsided? Her arms limp by her side? Why is she slumped in her chair?
An X-ray provided the answer. Mr. Courbet had painted a scene of women preparing a dead body for a funeral. He left it unfinished, however, and after he died his sister asked another artist to make adjustments to create a happier scene so the work would sell. Mr. Courbet's original title, The Preparation of the Dead Girl, had been changed to The Preparation of the Bride.
The Smith College Museum of Art now uses the before-and-after to help teach students about art history and painting technique, says Louise Laplante, the school's collections manager – not as a comment on marriage.
But maybe the college should, as it would provoke an interesting discussion about wife and husband identities and the roles they encourage. Once divorced, many people discover, quite surprisingly, that parts of their character re-emerge, even though they weren't aware they had lost or subsumed them while married.
Unwittingly, often, they had let some part of themselves fade.
What it means to be a wife or husband is often learned as a child. You emulate what you experienced with your parents or forge your own role in contrast. Like many women of my generation, I borrowed a bit from my mother, who was a traditional stay-at-home wife, and another part from my contemporaries and my own ambitions.
I wanted a degree of financial independence and some semblance of an identity outside that of wife and mother, but I also made it my job to have nice dinner parties and a tidy home. Somewhere in my wife psyche, I also thought I needed to defer to my husband all the time and let him have control – a situation that, over time and as I matured, became untenable. In her 2004 book The Meaning of Wife, Anne Kingston delved into the complex and often contradictory wife-identity issue for women.
Men receive subliminal messages about what a husband should be, too. “The underlying assumption, when a man becomes a husband, is that he can support a wife and family,” says Neil Chethik, an American commentator on men's issues and author of Voice Male, What Husbands Really Think about their Marriages, their Wives, Sex, Housework and Commitment.
A thrice-married and divorced 50-year-old man we'll call Mr. Experience explains: “One of the first things older men say to a young man who has just married is ‘Well done.' It's as if you have joined a club of grown-up men.”
Some feel crushed under the burden of the role. “I had to wear so many hats,” Alan Harding, a recently separated father, told The New York Times last month in the paper's “State of the Unions” column about marriage. “I had to be the daddy. I had to bring home money. I had to be the husband and I had to be the best friend. I wasn't ready for that.”
Interestingly, Mr. Harding and his estranged spouse, Leslie Parks, had lived together happily for many years before marrying. Their first son was born out of wedlock. The change in role – and his own expectation about what he should be – came with marriage.
Apart from the assumption of gender roles in marriage, a couple's desire to pursue common interests, as opposed to individual ones, can also curtail the personalities and lifestyle developed while single. I know of many divorced men and women who happily resort to pre-marriage behaviours their ex-spouses discouraged. There is some sweet and satisfying retribution for the lost wife years in decorating a house to your preferences rather than accommodating a husband's tastes, for example. And a sports car is a popular reidentification device for a man who is happy to be a non-husband again.
Still, the loss of the spousal identity is not always easy. “I didn't want to be a traditional wife. I took on the identity gradually. It wasn't something I embraced,” says Sally Morgan, a 42-year-old mother of three who was married for 17 years. “And yet when we divorced it was a very difficult transition. Being my husband's wife had become an important part of who I was. I was proud of him, and I had spent so much time supporting him and being the primary caregiver for our children,” the Victoria resident says. “I remember being sort of cast at sea immediately after the divorce.”
But a year and a half later, she feels liberated. “For me, one of the joys of divorce has been rediscovering myself. It is very freeing to be able to start to reclaim who I was and start to nurture that person.”
For men, the loss of the husband identity is often difficult, primarily because of the competency it suggests, male experts say. “It's a loss of purpose, which is very hurtful to men,” Mr. Chethik says. “They lose their status as head of the family.”
Still, the insight that comes in the wake of the loss can be helpful. Some ex-wives admit that they descended into domesticity and lost sight of their primary relationship with their spouse. No longer intellectual partners, they talked about diapers, babysitters and school choices.
Men, too, hope to learn from their identity mistakes. “Many go to the extreme of wanting to please their wives, and they lose their identity as men,” explains Elliot Katz, a divorced father and author of Being the Strong Man a Woman Wants: Timeless Wisdom on Being a Man. “Many think, ‘My wife seems to know what she wants, so I'll just do what she says and I'll be a good husband.' But that's not what women want. Strong women want a strong man.”
Mr. Experience adds:
“Being a husband is a title. It's what you become when you marry someone. But it shouldn't be a preset role. It should be about being in love. My regret is that I let the institution of marriage and the role of husband and father be enough. You fall into these roles, and all that men and women really want is the person they fell in

How to meet the great gal or guy over 40

It breaks my heart whenever I hear women say that there aren't any good men over 40 left to date, because it's just not true.

Sure, it feels true when you're sitting across the table from your blind date—a guy who wears black socks with sandals and whines about how his seventh divorce really was all his wife's fault, because frankly, in his opinion, all women are inherently evil, gold diggers or both.

But there are a lot of decent, kind, available men over 40 who are single and looking for someone to love. We all know that once you hit your fortieth (err, thirtieth) birthday, you're not going to have much luck spending every weekend hanging out in a bar, gripping a bottle of light beer, and listening to the same old jokes, meeting the same people in different clothes.

When we belly up to the bar, we're much more likely to meet that smarmy loser whose exposed silver chest hairs seem perilously likely to fall in our drinks than be the man of our dreams. So where do you go to meet these wonderful, enlightened, please-let-them-be- attractive, minimally damaged men over 40?
5 Unexpected Places to Find Great, Single Men Over 40 to Date Right Now

1) Parties Once-Removed: Six Degrees of BarbequeHow can you expect to meet and date great men over 40 when you always invite the same seventeen people to all of your parties?
Bring some new blood to the old gang. With Parties Once-Removed, everybody you invite brings someone that nobody else in the group knows. Think of it as six degrees of separation, only backwards. Voila! You'll have a party full of brand-new people who already get along great with your closest friends.

2) Go Clubbing

Want to meet an endless supply of fit, financially comfortable, educated men over 40? Take up golfing. If you don't already golf, there are lots of reasonably priced lessons at your local public course. (And of course, plenty of overpriced ones at the private clubs.) Once you've mastered the basics, you have two options to maximize your man-meeting potential: You can pull together a foursome with a collection of like-minded women, or you can head out to the course on Saturday morning as a single and complete someone else's foursome.If you're golfing as a single, you'll be meeting three new people (most likely men) and odds are in your favor that at least one of them is single. (The Census Bureau estimates that 30 percent of Americans born between 1946 and 1964 are single.) You'll have him all to yourself for eighteen holes, and if you like him, you can let him buy you a Bloody Mary when you finish your round. And, don't worry about whether or not you're any good—nobody is.

3) Go to Somebody Else's Company Picnic

Pair up with another single pal and survey his or her company's assets. These events are social, and as an added bonus, you know everybody there is employed. Your insider buddy can act as your tour guide to help you avoid the guy who sticks paperclips up his nose or the weirdo with fifty-nine cats.4) Marianne Williamson, Meet Wayne DyerIf you're looking to meet men over 40 who are as interested in self-growth as you are then attend lectures, conferences, and seminars by spiritual and self-development leaders. This can be a great place to meet someone and hang out with a bunch of men who're actively seeking to live a more positive, meaningful, inspired life. Weekend conferences are best if you're hoping to meet other people, because they offer more chances to socialize than daylong seminars provide. If the conference feels too pricey, contact the organization to and see if there's a way you can work at the event in exchange for free admission.Yes, the crowd will be 70 percent women, but the men will be good ones.

5) Power Drills and Other Flirting Tools

Most cities have philanthropic singles organizations, and whether a group attracts young singles or mature singles depends on the city and the group. The best part of meeting people through volunteer work is that you help make the world a better place and meet a lot of like-minded eligible men at the same time. (Besides, helping others gives you good dating karma.) If there are no volunteer groups in your area catering specifically to singles, check out Habitat for Humanity, habitat.org. It's a great way to meet people of all ages, and you get to spend the day in the sunshine using power tools. What could be better?

This article is excerpted from my brand new book, "How to Date Like a Grown-Up." If you follow my advice in this article and in my book, you might just get lucky, find the man of your dreams and get married – even if you're in your 40's, 50's and beyond!

definitons of cougar from young men!

jeezh- sound like being a cougar is actually the best compliment some women can get- if you like young guys that is-----maybe I am missing out on something!
Cougar

An older woman who frequents clubs in order to score with a much younger man. The cougar can be anyone from an overly surgically altered wind tunnel victim, to an absolute sad and bloated old horn-meister, to a real hottie or milf. Cougars are gaining in popularity -- particularly the true hotties -- as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together.

That cougar I met last night, showed me shit I didn't know existed, I'm goin back for more.

2. Cougar

(see also hunt, prowl, corner, pounce). Noun. A 35+ year old female who is on the "hunt" for a much younger, energetic, willing-to-do-anything male. The cougar can frequently be seen in a padded bra, cleavage exposed, propped up against a swanky bar in San Francisco (or other cities)waiting, watching, calculating; gearing up to sink her claws into an innocent young and strapping buck who happens to cross her path. "Man is cougar's number one prey"
Millions of them. More famously, Demi and Ashton, Naomi Watts and Heath Ledger, Joan Collins and her hubby, Cameron and Justin, Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins
by Christina Marie Mar 10, 2004

3. cougar

An attractive woman in her 30's or 40's who is on the hunt once again. She may be found in the usual hunting grounds: nightclubs, bars, beaches, etc. She will not play the usual B.S. games that women in their early twenties participate in. End state, she will be going for the kill, just like you. Associated with milfs
I bagged a cougar last night at the club.
older women milfs sex in the city cougers perfect by baroni Apr 16, 2006 share this add comment

4. Cougar

A woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted. A cougar's victims are usually under 25, as cougars prefer to mate with men who still have hair. Cougars generally feed and then continue hunting, as they enjoy role reversal.
by rberg Nov 5, 2003

5. Cougar

A Cougar is a female, usually between thirty and fifty years-old, who enjoys the sexual company of younger men. Cougars are only usually interested in men under the age of twenty-five. Also, Cougars are non-committal, choosing to move from mate to mate without ever settling down. It is not uncommon for the same Cougar to attack (sleep with) many different men in the same group of friends. Furthermore, Cougars are older and more practiced in the ways of snaring a mate so they will rarely broadcast their intentions to sleep with you until you are already in her Jetta, headed for the condo she just bought. It is this elusive behavior that earns her the name “Cougar.”

"Hey Jerry, I'm about to go buy this girl a drink, want to come along? I think she has a friend next to her" "Naw, theres a cougar in the corner that seems to be stalking me, I'm going to hold out for her"

6. Cougar


Coo-gher. An older woman who's primary interest lies in bedding younger men. Often, but not necessarily, with money; cougars are the more aggressive variety of the commonly used term: milf.
I think that cougar just grabbed my ass!

7. Cougar

A woman who is 35+, sexually cunning, that prefers to hunt rather than be hunted.
There seems to be a lot of Cougars stalking prey at the beach today