Just dating after forty-thanks lavalife for the tip

This Girl Just Wants to Have Fun


I'm dating several guys right now... Do I have to tell them? Or am I safe at least till I'm exclusive with someone? I'm new to dating. I was married and am now getting back out there. What's the etiquette?
-- Stacey

Kelly Says:
It's refreshing to hear from someone who's jumping back into the dating pool after marriage and doesn't need a life jacket. This is hot stuff, Stacey. If all these dudes know you're in it for the fun, and if your feelings wouldn't be hurt if you found out they were also dating multiple singles, then there's no harm done in carrying on your merry way until you decide to go exclusive. Frankly, it's probably your easygoing, open attitude about simply wanting to have a good time (and not harping on finding The One in each date) that's attracting all the testosterone in the first place.

Brent Says:
Stacey, you naughty minx. There's nothing wrong with dating several guys at once although it definitely increases the risk of awkward coffee shop run-ins. The only time you shouldn't be dating more than one person is when you are in an exclusive relationship. The problem is knowing when you have crossed the line. Short of wearing his school football jacket asking him to go steady, you really have to feel it out because the lines are different for everyone. Usually, if you've been dating regularly for more than a couple of months, there is an implication of exclusivity. Another sign: when the weekend date becomes assumed. But there are so many signs that if you're not sure it's best just to state your intentions outright. Either, "I'm not interested in an exclusive relationship," or the famous, "I just want to keep things casual/let's not move too fast" speech.