Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry KISS MY ASS!

Yup that is what I said- Merry Kiss My Ass!

Truly, the season is just about stuff, and booze- well food and chocolate-- then the big let down!

Just about everyone I know is morose, sad and broke..... some of my friends wondering how long they will keep their houses, some looking for jobs that do not exist, some working at far below what they are worth. Friends, cause I have friends that are kinda crazy----that joke about the many ways to kill ones self (not that they would do it).

This is plain sucky-- I had just started to get over 7 years of hell, divorce, sick kid, best friend who died of cancer, failing business, finally things were starting to look up--- and the big R!

Shit, almost feel like getting completely plastered New Years eve- to get rid of this decade- but that would mean a three day hangover - at my age that is how long they last--- so I guess I will behave, and try to come up with wonderful way to get out of debt, find a new job, create new opportunities and thank god and the universe for the health, my friends (who are crazy) my family for the opportunity to make my life better than it is!

Sorry, I have not been posting but I thought no-one was reading-- then I see more people read this one than the 'polite' blog under my real name!

So, I guess I will continue to rant and rave here- it does free the sluggish constitution!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

all `these health foods-Let our kids eat cake!

What is it with all these youngins stuffing organic food down their childrens' throats?
Really, I sometimes prefer organic- if it really tastes better.... but shit I grew up on white bread- I think it was Wonder, Kraft dinner, orange juice from a package (powder) we had to add water, canned stews, soups, Hamburger Helper--- and I am still here. This nonesense of all this healty eating is making an entire generation allergic to everything!
Shit (sorry but I am getting really pissed with all this 'allergic' stuff when kids are not exposed to anything anymore) allergic to perfume-- Are you nuts! Speaking of nuts- allergic to nuts- everyone is now allergic to nuts- cats- put them down-- dogs- cant have one.... Must have hardwood floors- no pesticides, no articical colouring in food-- Have you seen what most food looks like without artical colouring?(granted that is the food we are not supposed to eat) But hey KD- has colouring- and I am not about to give up that hit of junk food! Everyone needs a hit of KD from time to time!
Allergies-- let these kids experience something of life--- OMG-- can you imagine being allergic to chocolate ???? Not if you are female- what will get you through those 4 or 5 daysper month!?
Let our kids eat cake

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Sensitive men- or mommies boys!

You have to scroll down a few articles to find this one.
BUT sorry guys- women want men-- men that know the right end of a screwdriver- can tighten the bolt or whatever it is called when the sink leaks.
When I want a heart to heart- I call one of my girlfriends-- you pretend to understand but you don't -- and besides I have my gay guy friends to explain how you think.--- not that most of use women care-- is that not a line from your boy playbook-- you pretend to understand how we feel- but keep your mouths shut to humour us?
NO... we want men that are men- fix the toilet--- take out the garbage-leave us alone to go to the theatre with our girlfriend- same with the symphony- we do not want you there-- stay in your place-- watch a` hockey game with your friends- do not ask us to watch it!
There are places you are wanted and places you are not--- stick with your hockey-football and leave us the theatre, the ballet and the symphony--- it makes us more interesting to you-- and well we just don't really care about the sports thing.....................we just do it if we are insecure to make you think we like the stuff you like.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Bernie Madoff

Sorry, if I disagree with the majority. Losing money in life is not a serious at it seems.
The Jews lost everything- some where lucky to escape- finally- with their lives and they were grateful. The mansions, the art- so be it!
To equate the mass theft to murder, rape is beyond my imagination.
Raping a child, a young girl, a boy, a man is -- in my opinion a crime that truly needs more committed time in prison. You have stolen a true innocence a life.
We can all get by with less- but the trauma of rape, violence?
Murder, to take a life- to leave the family without the loved one.... most folks I know would give most/all of whatever money they have to keep the loved one with them.
No, sorry, maybe cause I have been there----- my son-- he lived-- I would of- I did give up everything (financially) to keep him here. While I lick my financial wounds from time to time I would gladly do it all again.
I think this man finally could not pay the 'investors' that were using him to launder their bad seed money- and this is the safest place for him-- I am sure he sleeps better where he is!
To imply his crimes were worse than rape, torture and murder is a true dis-service to those of us that have suffered those crimes.
In the end- money is only money!
Think about- would you rather lose money- or your family- your child, your life, your sense of security from a horrible rape-------?
I choose losing money-- leave me and my family alone---- we can get by with less (financially)

Monday, August 10, 2009

How to get HR to make money for the lawyers

All you employers, bosses and Human Resources managers, listen up. The economy is hurting lawyers and we need you to generate more wrongful dismissal lawsuits.
So, in the interests of generating new business for lawyers, here's a list of things you should be sure to do to create more business for us.
If an employee isn't working to your satisfaction give him a vague warning about his performance. Don't be too specific, don't offer constructive criticism and don't offer any help. Let the employee flounder so you can then fire him and allege just cause.
Written policies? Why bother? Make it up on the fly.
Forget about job reviews or feedback. They're just a waste of time. No one needs feedback. Let your employees guess what you think about them.
Forget about ongoing job training -- or any job training at all. Let someone else pay for their training. It's not your responsibility.
Be abusive. Off-colour jokes are always a nice touch. Be sure to add jokes about sex for your female employees and jokes about minorities or gays for added measure. They're a hoot, aren't they? Your employees are offended? Let them go to the human rights commission.
Don't give your employees any meaningful reasons for your decision to terminate them. After all, there's no obligation to be honest or give reasons. Be vague or just say it didn't work out. People don't really want to know why they've been fired. They won't be frustrated.
Be as vague as possible when making announcements to staff concerning any termination. If possible imply that the employee was dishonest or committed some unspeakable crime. What do you care if his reputation suffers?
If you decide to open your wallet and provide pay in lieu of notice or severance pay be sure to offer the lowest amount you can possibly get away with. You're sure to get a bonus by keeping down expenses.
And if you do offer a termination package be sure to ask for a release. For the minimum amount you're paying you don't want to be bothered with any pesky lawsuits. So what if your employees can't afford to seek legal advice before signing the release? Oh, and make sure you insist that the release be signed and returned the same day.
Just for the fun of it don't pay the minimum employment standards pay in lieu of notice or severance pay until you get the release back. For good measure, why not also hold onto the accrued vacation pay?
For sure, you don't want to cover the employee's benefits for any period following termination. Let them pay for their own dental and drug expenses. But if you do cover some benefits following termination make sure it's for the shortest period possible and even then make sure you don't cover any post-employment life insurance, disability insurance or pension contributions. So what if an employee has a major medical problem after you fire him? It's all part of the game.
If your former employee seeks a reference letter, just say no. You don't want to help him get a new job do you? Let him suffer in unemployment. Oh, and there's no hurry on the EI Record of Employment, is there?
If an employee has the temerity to sue you for wrongful dismissal then take it personally. Bring out the big legal guns. Money is no object in fighting off these nuisance lawsuits. Put these employees through the wringer. That'll show them. Settlements? Mediation? Hah, that's for wimps. You want to drag the case out and put these employees through a lengthy trial.
And once you've lost? Well, that's what appeals are for, isn't it? We've got courts of appeal in Canada and if they don't see it your way, why there's always the Supreme Court of Canada. Your taxes pay for these judges, so why not use them? Many thanks in advance.
Alan Shanoff was counsel to Sun Media for 16 years and is currently a freelance writer and teaches media law.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Shmuckette!

OUCH! I took a male friend out for a surprise birthday dinner-- this is a man that has saved my behind now for a long time, fixed the broken thing-a-jiggy, repaired what the repair man screwed up, takes me out when he needs an escort (not that kind) to nice wine tastings etc.... and he is going through a rough time. So I thought, lets take him out for a few simple tastes, some wine and a tasting of gelato at a restaurant I have never been to.
When was the last time you were in a restaurant that did not take debit or credit cards? (They had the expensive cash machine sitting there so you could spend 10.00 to make a withdrawal though!)
I went to pay, and like many of us, and most girls, I carry almost no cash!
He stepped in and paid for his own birthday after work wine and dessert!
OUCH! My pride, my ego, my all of the rest of those words is broken, battered. I am embarrassed humiliated and pissed right off!
Well Happy Birthday------- and thanks for saving my ass again!
Now, I still owe you- I guess I will pay you back after you fix that broken slat on the deck!
OY!!!! This from a woman who insists she does not need a man!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Sensitive men- or overly sensitive men?

Recently, I have had the displeasure to run into a few men that seem to not understand the meaning of sensitive.
Sensitive, is to be in tune and understanding your and others feelings.
It seems though that some men have taken this to the highest degree of emotional maintenance- yikes high maintenance women are bad enough!
Men that are so sensitive it is like walking on eggshells around a woman with PMS- except it is all the time!
Men that read way too much into simple comments, cannot take a joke- or simple ribbing!
Gentlemen, if you have emotional problems- see a shrink, take meds- hang out by yourself -- do not impose your moody, neurotic self on the rest of us and think you are being 'sensitive'. You are not- you are being rude, selfish and frankly acting like a 'girl'..... and we can't stand girls that are neurotic!
I have no idea if this is a new thing that develops with age- if so forget my last column regarding thinking of getting married after 50-- if there is a drama queen in my relationship it better be me ( for the record I am sick of drama anywhere but the stage, screen and printed word- not in my life or my relationship).
Does anyone have any idea what is happening to some men?
My brother some of his friends and I sat around Saturday night trying to figure out where the 'men' have gone to and why so many men are turning into 'whimps"...... This was me with 5, 45-52 year old men wondering this question--- they have noticed this too!
Yikes!
Men put your big boy shorts back on and act like men!

Monday, August 3, 2009

getting married after 50

Recently I have had this chat with a number of men friends and just today with a female friend from high school. We are getting ready for a high school reunion and I have not seen this girl for almost 30 years-- we ended up at different high schools but I am still invited to this one.
At any rate, this lady has never been married, has no kids and like me thinks that getting married after 50 is the dream.
I, like some of my male friends, tend to agree. For some, like me, having kids, raising them and dealing with life just does not blend well with a later marriage. So, for me, I have been thinking that after 50 would be a terrific time to get married. Kid(s) are grown and hopefully gone for ever, life is stable and you have a better idea of the kind of relationship and partner you want. You know how much time you want to give, and want free, you understand the need for folks to still live their own life, perhaps time to slow down, enjoy a great banter of the minds without taking it personally ( a great intellectual debate is wonderful!) you will both know if you want to travel and where, live fancy, off grid or a combination of both, you should have enough understand and compassion to make a great companion--- yup!
I think marriage after 50 sounds like a fine idea.
Now, I need to firm up my wish list and wait a few years!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Shallow! I am so shallow


WOW! I was chatting with a gentleman friend the other day and told him that even if I have a billion dollars I would not have too many bags!

Well, finally I went on-line and looked at Hermes-- and yes- I could have way too many!

These are indeed crack for women!

I also think the bags from the east are indeed selling their bags on e-bay!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Men and romance….

Do men still think about the romance part of a relationship at this age or has that all gone by the wayside in the practicality department?

I am not sure but I am certain I was wined, dined, romanced and intrigued by men when I was younger way more than I am now. So, I am wondering is this an age thing- men are jaded after their failed relationships they no longer feel the need--- ( or are not brave enough to solicit their secretary’s help in creating these romantic getaway) OR ,is this a sign of the times- not the recession/depression argument the 2009 times.

Ah- guys if you are not romantic, I am sure you know a girl- friend, relative, employee, co-worker--- that could help you come up with fantastic and romantic dates.

Don’t men like romance at all?
Is it truly just a necessary evil to justify the end (sex)?

Guess, I must thank the couple of men that did go out of their way in my younger single days to date, wine, surprise, romance and send flowers and teddies to me……….. and take my up in a plane as the sun was setting—in the cockpit!

Guys, truly if you want to be remembered, or never forgotten- pull out the romance!

Gazzilionaire Thieves and the wives

Interesting stuff here with these gazzilonaire thieves! .
Question that many folks have on their minds- did the wives know.
Many say they must of- the wife looked the other way.
I am not so sure……….. I am not the swiftest with this money thing- as most of you know I am so allergic to it I try to get rid of it as soon as I get any (I know- dummy me!)
But, these women are spoiled pampered rich women that come from rich backgrounds. Their entire existence is based on what they own………they are what they own!
I think maybe like crack whore- they will do almost anything to get their fix of a new Chanel bag! Heck it is rumored the Maddoff wife wanted to return 16--- 16 brand new Chanel bags for cash!
HECK—I would of paid her $500 for one- well okay maybe two—imagine not using 16 Chanel bags—the BAG HAD TOO MANY BAGS!
Now, back to the matter at hand and during a recent sit down and whine with wine--- a friend of mine is convinced the women knew, and his take is a little different.
He is a guy. He is in the money buying game (See this is my argument I don’t know what he does so is it not possible the wives of the gazzilionare thieves were just happy to have their supply of crack Chanel purses and simply not ask where it came from?)
Anyway--- he said "Every crook needs someone to tell".
AH! Never thought of that – but I am not a crook! It appears neither of these men had mistresses- heck who could afford any the way the crack Chanel wives went through money?
So, he thinks the guys told. Or he thinks the women should have been able to sense something was amiss.
Well, on that front- sorry (one of the reasons I ended jumping off the society train) men with high-powered careers and little dicks that only feel the dick gets bigger when their wallets grow are not the easiest men to be around.
For starters, aggressive men –that only want money---are always too busy making it to really spend time with family and wives.
2) When they do spend time, they are still taking calls, thinking and working. Trust me with a successful man you always only be mistress- regardless of the size of rock on your left hand and your last name.
(Hey, when I was young I actually thought I wanted a real relationship with all the time spent together- now I am older and smarter—this arrangement may not be so bad! )
3) Men like this are wound so tight you can never figure out when something is wrong, they are wound up all the time.
4) Contrary to what my fine ,never-married male friend may think- MEN DO NOT TALK ABOUT THEIR WORK, THEIR CONCERNS OR THE POSSIBLE MISTAKES/FAILURES THEY HAVE MADE WITH THE WIFE!
They do not want to appear weak in front of the woman------that embarrassment is too much for them. Men work for the money, the fame and the respect and love of a woman- they could not handle losing that!
Nope, the wives did not know----
However- if anyone hears of a great sale on used bags back east- please let me know –I could wire someone $500.00 bucks for a brand new, Chanel chain-linked Chanel bag……….how ironic!

Okay, come on- is he right? Do men actually talk business talk with the wife?
Do they talk to the wife if they are theives?
I would think these men could of at least been better at hiding some moulah for the wifey-poo-- but maybe they did!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Globe and mail is a waste of time

OK- Can someone help out here?
Since they let the old publisher go the globe and mail has been taken over by young fools!
Tacky U-tube wedding entrances are on the front page- lifestyle is all about babies, babies more babies-- and how wonderful it is they are first humans to breed!
Is there another news page that has any real credit left?
I do not care where in the world (as long as it is in English) PLEASE help me find a newspaper worth reading--- s ome new blogs-- something!
thanks!

men that flatter

I think a new trend is starting!
I was at the gas bar and the young man there thanked me---"Thank you MISS".
WOW- maybe the youngins will get this thing going as I know for sure the old guys are getting far too jaded to be so sweet to women!

Yuppers- made my day!

Maybe just maybe the men will start to flatter us older broads.... and the older broads will be more receptive! Just a thought as it seems all men complain we are a bunch of gold-diggers-- but I had forgotten what it is like to be flattered!

Maybe a trend!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Guys take a lesson


My son came home really late the other night and woke me up!
You see women going through menopause do not sleep well and to interfere with our sleep is a very dangerous thing!
So, young man profusely apologized--- "Flowers mom, I will bring you flowers" ( I am a sucker for flowers, chocolate, large jewels----)
Anyway, I grumpily mumbled "No, not to bother" as I stumbled back to my bedroom.
"Mom", as he came up behind me "You are so gorgeous for almost 50. You look like Penelope Cruz"
AHA! I turned around and hugged him--- "You are one smart boy. Flattery will get you out of more trouble with women than flowers."
Then I happily stumbled back to bed thinking--'hmmm I though I looked more like Demi Moore- but I prefer the Latinos- Cruz, Sophia Loreen, that works for me (don't have the nose) but I still grinned while I feel fast asleep.
Yes, flattery is good!
(Hey, I got to pick the picture- and no I do not look anything like this- but I can dream)

Chris Brown wedding entrance

http://en.video.canoe.tv/video/comedy/comedy/1906868833/best-wedding-entrance-ever/30603337001http:// Okay- call me old fashioned!
WTF!
Weddings are to be fun- but they are also to have some decorum!
Then choosing an admitted woman beater to be the guy singing at the beginning of your wedding?!
Like I said WTF!
come on what is your opinion?
(Bad enough the song sucks) What is the message?
WTF!

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Dubai-maybe not a playground for the over 40 set

Interesting, a friend of mine- a global traveller when quired by me- mostly in jest-- "Please take me to Dubai"-- me thinking of great shopping(I hate shopping) I like to look at big jewels..

He answered "I would not take a date to Dubai- out of respect for them but also in that part of the world- life does not mean much"
Me-"but the shopping, the jewels"
"You won't find much better there than you can in West Edmonton Mall.... but they do not value life like we do here."
ME- "HUH"
"They make their millions on the backs of millions of poor people and do not care"
I know you read this -- but the irony is-- SO do almost all of the rich people here.
Anyway his retort was "I'd rather take you to Switzerland... heck me too! Switzerland sounds prettier, safer and with much better food at a better price.
All in fun- but I was shocked to hear that Dubai for all the glitz they are trying to present to the world that they are a modern city- really in fact is not!
So guys and gals- pick another place for your holiday- where you can hold hands, snuggle, sneak a kiss and relax knowing you will not be imprisoned!
Hey- there are great jewels to gaze at in Switzerland, Palm Springs and wow- Las Vegas!
For the record I do not wear much jewellery but the big stuff is amazing to look at- art!

ah things to do before I die!





Tofino!
How could I forget! I have never been!


I had forgotten about Tofino on my list of things to do before I die!
I simply must get there though- most especially the Wikkinish Inn---- food is superb, view astonishing and they even have yoga classes on the wood decks, spa treatments!
Yup- one of the must do’s
( never mind the money part- all I can afford to do is dream and I am getting my monies worth! )

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

How much is a middle-age woman worth?

How about this.......
A middle-aged woman has the chance to dump her horrible boring life- live in Kelowna (well without the fires!) on top of a mountain in a multi-million dollar house..... the guest house is another multi-million dollar shack at the lake complete with one boat at the dock (the big boat is kept at the Yacht club as it is too big for this dock) complete with swimming pool. The guest house is by the lake and main house is on top of the mountain because the traffic and noise of the lake annoy the owner!
There are actually 3 boats, a million dollar motor home used to travel to Palm Springs 'condo' .... many cars but the ones mostly used are always brand new Mercedes "really the only people that buy Lexus are those that can't afford Mercedes".
The catch- he is almost as old as the lady's grandmother- so late 70's- early 80's. Very rich, has known her for over 20 years and truly likes her, she truly likes him- Just not in that way!
Other kicker ---- He does not pay well when he is bored of his women!
No cars in her name to take, no houses in her name to take-even the jewellery he buys (BIG- HUGE stuff) he insists are for investment and 'lets' her wear them- but they are not hers'.
Last one was with for 12 years and walked out with $100,000 and after a court case the 5 carat ring... after a court case. No support, no car and no house!
I told him he did well- really well!
Glad I was not the girl that quit my job- no matter how low paying it may of been and ran around the world with him to end up 47 (with good plastic surgery, great nails and personal trained body) but now single, basically no money, no marketable skills (Shhhh- other then the obvious) .
So, this is one of my dearest friends- the guy actually----- I suggested in the future he has 'a lease' on the women, sign it and carry on!
What do you guys think--- Him and I went through this and my 'price' was way to high for him- so I guess I can be bought--- but at least I have some respect- if I am going down the wrong road I at least am expensive-- needless to say- He is still single!
So him and I are wondering - what is a fair market value for a middle-aged woman to live the life of luxury---clothes, borrowed jewels, borrowed cars, borrowed affection, girl must cook, the houses do have cleaning staff though---give up any job she has to care for him) How much is that worth? How much should be left in the will? What about a signing bonus and yearly 'cheques' for work well done?
Any ideas on how and what should be examined in this?
Truly we are wondering....... He has his opinion and I have mine- obviously not the same!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

signs of the times

I have discovered many of our large corporations truly act dishonourably towards their employees.
Take Trader Corporation, that let go without cause (an agreed fact from court filings Provincial Court of Alberta action no 0990300111) a single mom with a brain damaged child. They let her go without cause, her employment record unblemished- her only sin from what we can see is her earnings went from under $3000.00 a month to just over $8,000.00 a month in just over a year.
Is that not what sales people are supposed to do?
The corporation does not argue they let her go without cause-- here is the kicker- todate over 2 years they have no paid one cent in severance, holiday pay or notice.
This lady has to take this huge corporation to court- on her very modest salary now simply to get paid for work she has already done- never mind notice and severance.
It has also come up that this company recently fired all its western based sales people only to turn around and offer a few of them their jobs back at 50% of the salaries paid.
Hmmm..... does make me think that maybe unions have a point
Wonder if the shareholders know this? Wonder if upper management had to take a 50% reduction in pay?
All is well in corporate Canada- if you are born rich.

Women and the status symbols

Recently, I was reading one of those tarty, summer girl read books ( I would hate to insult the great writers by calling what I was reading a 'novel') .However, some interesting points were highlighted to me- okay I am a touch slow-- regarding the middle-aged woman and the man.
1) Namely- of all age groups- it is the woman that gives the polish and position to the man and the relationship. He, merely supplies the money from whence the lady turns it into the spit and polish 'brand' of the couple........... Hence women are good at and for spending money and creating the couple brand.
2) Middle-aged women are not always upset when the husband takes a lover-- she- the wife no longer has to deal with this tiring chore.... has more time to spend more money.....as long as he does not make the affair public or leave her- she is often fine. IF he should think of leaving - that will cost- everything.
3) Men are smarter than women- hold up-in this regard. Explains the bad boy thing- men will hook up with a bad girl- but are too smart-generally to marry her. She is good for fooling around with but not for his brand! Women, as we know will go after the bad boy- forgetting her own personal brand.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

michael jackons- and giving up your children

Okay- Ms. R owe does not sound like a possible contender for best mother of the year BUT
being a child of a 'birth mother' that gave up her kids because she did not think she would be a good mother....Does giving up your kids so they can have a chance of a better life make you a 'bad mother'.
When you find out - your kids are having a horrible life- and you decide to fight to get them back-- should your previous concept of giving them up to 'have a better life' -still exist?
Obviously- for me, Debbie Rowe should not have her kids-- but she gave them 'up' believing they would have a good life.
Now that. that is in shambles maybe- just maybe- she wants to step up to plate.......... again though------------ maybe once a woman gives up her kids she is always not going to be 'a good mother"
Just my rantings--- and for any new comers- I never gave up my son!
(But my mother did give us up)Hence my questions.

Monday, July 6, 2009

A man's viewpoint---'The Scribbler- writes!

For a long, long time after my divorce, I promised myself that never again would I allow myself to be suckered into a relationship that I know in my heart of hearts would be no good for me.
Alas, that meant turning down a lot of good possibilities.
Oh, sure, I went out with a lot of women and had a lot of fun. There's something to be said for "sowing one's wild oats" in their 40s when one actually knows what one is doing (especially sexually). But most of those relationships were very short-term (because that's the way I wanted it) and were devoid of any deep, meaningful connection.
But with the experience of years and the fact that I've lived alone for nearly a decade, I'm starting to finally realize that I was looking for a made-to-measure fit in an off-the-rack world.
There was, and is, one particular woman that I'd be very interested in getting to know romantically, but she's simply not interested in me. We've already had the discussion, and she says that I'm "nice" (is there any bigger insult?) but she just doesn't feel "chemistry."
That frustrates me tremendously because she won't even give it a chance. But, of course, no one person can make another person do or feel anything. "Baring my soul" to her and telling her how I feel might look good in a Hollywood movie context, but the reality was far different.
So I'm back in the dating world, trying to weed out the gold-diggers (gawd, they're EVERYWHERE!!) and drama queens and those laden with tons and tons of baggage.
Now, I don't believe for a moment that "you'll know it when you feel it" and "let the universe unfold as it should" and "good things come to those who wait." If you want something to happen, you have to make it happen.So I'm trying to make it happen.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Blackmore

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/polygamist-had-9-child-brides-and-101-children-rcmp-say/article1203038/

I dont know-for some reason the Globe will allow this freak to rant and rave- but I cannot point out the guy was a pedophile-- guess we know where the globe really stands on conservative family values!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

okay the thing on globe

Is it okay to have way too many children with under-age girls and over age women and leave them to the care of the state?
Does breeding alone make you a 'father'?
Or is it the care of children that make you a father?

I have my opionons- lets hear yours.

(I think I know my readers here- but man it gets my goat when men think that 'sireying" ( is that a word?) makes them a father!

A father in my words is a man regardles of blood lines that cares for and raises 'his' children.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Loser at mid-life?

Lately, like I am sure many of you, I am feeling like a loser.
When I was young I had a great job, made piles of money and thought the future would hold greater 'paydays' and a challenging and interesting career.
I would wear better suits, travel more places, live in a nicer house and have more money in the bank. People would see my 'success' and say "Wow, did she ever do good for herself".
Yes, people may even be jealous.
Then life happened.... I had the opportunity to stay home for a few years when my son was eight (I had been a single working mom up till then- granted with a live in nanny and all) It would mean cutting back- but the chance to be home with my son for the first time, and a chance to try the mommy 'wife' deal.
I took it-- at a huge price! The guy was not so nice.
My son loved having me at home- then I took a little job that I could work at home my own hours selling drapery.
"Why are you doing that?You are much too smart to be decorating peoples homes." A friend exclaimed in horror.
"I need a break and it is fun"
Well that lasted far too long, the child became a troubled teenager even with my constant attention (he was ADHD- one of the reasons I did want to stay home was to guide him the best I could)
Got rid of the husband
Then, my son had a horrible accident where I 'choose' to take care of him. He had to learn how to talk, walk, eat, use the washroom all over again... it was another few rough years.
Meanwhile the little business I had started, that was just getting off the ground- grounded to a halt because I was not working my business- I was taking care of my son.
I was not there the first time. I did not hear his first words, watch his first steps... his nanny did.
This time- I fed him- once he was off the feeding tube, I was there when he said his first words, I was there this time.
So, now- after this crazy journey of life. I do not have money in the bank, my once paid for house has a line of credit, I have not shopped for any clothes for years (never mind fancy stuff) and am working a very low paying job at the city. Guess I should be happy to have any job now.
BUT- when I run across the people that seem to of navigated this world with success I feel like a loser!
My son and family do not think I am - I ended being successful at the one thing that I really never dreampt (is that a word?) about- being a terrific mom.
Does that make me a loser- being a good mother- but broke?
Does not being a financial success govern how other people see you? ( I think so)
What is next?
I want another chance at life- I want energy and optimism to try to reach some of my goals but my old tired body somehow does not want to support me.....
What do you think?
What is a loser/winner in life?
Can and does anybody have it -or get it all?
(If they do can we hunt them down and shot them?- This is a joke!)

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Okay-

If Michael Jackson can die at 50--- (still having such a problem he actually was 50- which means we are old) and Princess Diana can get killed in a car accident with a drunk driver-- anything can happen to us poor mere mortals.

Time to get off the pot- the pity pot- the money pot- the lazy pot- whichever pot you are sitting on and get some of the things you want from life done!

My List of the 50 things to do before I die---not necessarily in order

1) Romantic weekend in Quebec City (yes- this actually involves a man- so perhaps find a man for Quebec City should be before this )
2) Write a novel
3) San Francisco long weekend ( yup-never been want to eat- shop )
4) One week in New York- ( I am sure multiple trips should be in order- but I will start with one)
5) Cuba with my son ( his love of baseball will lead him to the small towns and my love of jazz and 'coolness' will let us stay some time in Havana--
6) Learn French
7) Buy something from a Paris flea market in French
8) Learn Spanish
9) Live in Mexico
10) Paint pictures
11) Fall in love - (again- or for the first time? not sure on this- know I have never been in love with a man that loves me- at the same time---hmmmmmm)
12) Write another novel
13) Stay (get) in shape
14) Be kind, laugh and love everyday
15) Garden more and better
16) Cooking school in the south of France
17) Cooking school in Italy
18) Hike around Nepal
19) One month tour of India ( ah the food, the fabric, the jewels, the architecture)
20)Safari
21) Love freely (no this is not a reference to cheap sex)
22)Be happy
23) Luxury car- Benz, Lexus, Beemer
24) Gold Rolex (long story from my childhood on this one)
25) Artist proof of Chanel #5 by Warhol
26) Lichtenstein art
27) LV makeup case
28) Black Chanel Chain bag
29) any Hermes bag- used, re-used, new -freshly ordered
30) Thailand
31) China
32) Live in at least one house that is finally decorated!
33) an extra in a movie
34) Live in my retrofitted train containers and be a hobo.
35).........................

MIchael Jackson

I know and sorry but I just cant help myself... I am not sure what is more shocking to me _ that Michael was addicted to drugs (yes, honestly I was surprised) or the brutal reality he was 50!
WHAT--- how the heck did Michael Jackson become 50? You know what that means?

That means we are all OLD! If pop-stars like Michael get to be 50- and we have followed him most of our lives- gosh darn and other words- we are old!

I know this is drivel- but still that is what is getting to me the most- Micheal Jackson was 50!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Davina!

Finally- I got her off the couch (or wherever she lays around) and onto the computer!
Check her out on 'whoreinprivate'--- adult only content!
May give you something to think about other than the money!
Remember adult only content and enter with your mind open. She is a lady but will not tolerate or even engage in abuse or crude comments- there are other places on the net you can indulge in that sort of talk.
Also all comments are being monitered so it may take awhile to view your comment.
(Just trying this new concept and hoping we are all adults here- if it does not work- well bye bye little Ms. Dominatrix)

What are we saving and working for?

In this fast paced world- and with the decline of our 'investments' (those of you that have them)... we suddenly have been faced with the concept "I am not worth as much as I was".
What really does this mean? Does it mean suddenly you are not 'worth as much as your neighbour'?

Does our worth as people really mean that we only worth as much as we have money?
We have all heard the saying "He is the riched man in the graveyard'. Okay so what?

I think we all want to enjoy the security of knowing we will eat, have a roof over our heads and leave something(s) to our heirs.

How-ever, how much do our heirs need?

This is different for everyone and based on the needs of the hiers.

Obviously, if we have young children they are going to need more 'means' left to them to assist them or their guardians in the care of them (in the style we want them to have) for more years than if the heirs are adults.

Again, this is different for everyone. Someone like myself with a child that has suffered incredible odds to only now have a chance in life-- I want to be able alive or dead- be able to still help him become an achieving self supporting adult. For me that means insuring he has an education... and hopefully one he does not have to pay for the rest of his life.

For others, why are you saving everything. I can tell you from experience once you hit a certain age your million dollar mansions will not be places you will be able to live in.
Having enough money for a new Benz will not entice you.

Living life- experiencing life, traveling, these things are only available to our aging bodies for a short period of time. Once you become old, ill and infirm you will not want to leave your home or your 'old age suite'.

So balance- live some, eat the best chocolate ( sorry there I go again)....... travel. The kids do not need it all--- and if you save too much-- you will miss the chance!

Monday, June 22, 2009

Finances over 50!

Great idea- thanks Vito!
This is not my area- trust me anyone knows that me and money do not like each other very much! Every time I have any- I do anything I can to get rid of it!
However, on a more serious note... what do we do now?
Many of us have lost a well-paying position... many of us have 'careers' that no longer work in the new 'business world'... we are 'redundant' as the British say.

Our nest egg is deleted-- and that is the ones that had a nest egg!
I had a nest egg years ago- and fully paid house, then the unexpected happened! My son had a serious brain injury, I did not 'work' my business to take care of him, there-fore did not make any money, spent what I had and almost declared bankruptcy!

So, life happens (son is doing very well and it was all worth it).
I have now more experience than many of you with poverty living--- I like to be ahead of the trends!

This will be an interesting time for many. Lots of folks have gotten into the habit of judging potential mates based on their wallet (I have not had this problem for years- the 'good' guys did not seem interested in an almost bankrupt middle-aged woman that gave everything up to help her brain-injured kid recover)

See, I know! Men like women that have as much cash as themselves- esp. as they get older. Not to worry- women want men that have more cash than themselves as they get older. The scales are still 'balanced' here.

So, now we get to have all sorts of new opportunities, find new careers, find new ways to live- discover new values!

Please folks if you have great financial ideas, creative ways to stretch a dollar, invest -please step in here! Like I said me and money have not had a great long-term relationship! I always find ways to get rid of it!

PS= I KNOW some of you guys reading my blog have financial experience- please care to share?

My long term plan- as my family knows- is to sell everything- retro fix a few train containers and move to Mexico! Paint, ride a bike into the village, learn spanish, live like a boho----!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Men having women friends


Okay guys, we have done enough female bashing on this issue.
Question for you...
How come you never hear the same complaints from women?

"He only wants to be my friend?"

Cause, men will 'do' just about anyone- that is why. Then the girl gets left with a broken heart and the guy moves on.

But- you guys are giving us girls such a hard time if we only want to be friends. That, I think is not the real issue- I think the real issue is.... You guys get pissed when the girl won't put out for you!

She is putting out for other guys or guy - but not you.

Most of the time, I am betting here- you don't really want her anyway for the long haul. You are just pissed cause you are not gonna get any action from her and your 'masculine feelings are being kept in control by a 'girl'.

I think that is the real issue---.

So, who is the bigger 'dog'... the girls who are not interested in you and are honest-- or the guys that just want to notch their belt and are being shut out. Honestly- you mostly just want the notch- not the girl.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Okay another theory- from a woman's point of view

http://collegecandy.com/2008/08/02/why-%e2%80%9ci-don%e2%80%99t-think-of-you-in-that-way%e2%80%9d-is-so-damn-complicated/http://

well kinda a woman's point of view-it seems she is still in college------ so maybe a mature- mature student.
However--- or I guess I should say "Whatever dude, we still think the same way"

OKay the link did not work- complete with the very hot very young man--- gosh I feel like an old pervie!

I have had, on multiple occasions, the uncomfortable conversation that always ends with the words “I don’t think of you in that way.” I have sat down with many a guy friend to clarify that we’re just friends. I have explained to guys numerous times that I like to keep my friendships and my relationships separate, and that I don’t date my friends. I always mean it when I say it. I always want to stick to it. But the line between friendships and relationships always seems to blur in my confused little world. Why is “I don’t think of you in that way” so hard for me to say?
There have been several occasions this year where I have had to have this conversation. What troubles me the most is that I can’t seem to avoid it. I’m a huge flirt, especially when I’ve had too many whiskey sours, so I can understand why some guys might get the wrong idea and think I’m interested in more than just a shoulder to rest my head on when the room starts to get spinny. But even with guys I don’t get super flirty with, I still have to have the conversation. It’s always approached one of two ways:


The first is a situation in which I have heavily flirted with, or mildly hooked-up with, a guy friend and I have to explain to him that this doesn’t mean we’re meant to settle down, get married, and procreate. The second situation, and the more annoying one because it’s unavoidable is the, “How come we never hooked up?” conversation.


I’d like to clarify my position on this friendship/friends with benefits/relationship conundrum once and for all. Guys, listen up.

First things first –– we never hooked up because I never wanted to. You’re not my type. Get over it.

Second, “The Ladder” theory is absolute bullsh*t. I’ve had many guy friends point me toward this folk psychology explanation of how men and women rank potential friends and lovers. It’s bull. According to the theory, guys place women hierarchically on a ladder ranking them potential lover or potential friend, judging their sexual desirability first, as in, “She’s hot, but not Jessica Alba hot, I give her a 7.”


Women, reversely, place men they meet on one of two ladders: a “Potential” ladder, for those they might sleep with, and a “Never” ladder, for those they just want to be friends with. I can tell you definitively right now that girls do not think this way. When we meet a guy we don’t immediately categorize him as a potential anything. And when girls say, “I just think of you as a friend,” what we’re really saying is, “I don’t find you attractive.” We’re just trying to spare your feelings.

There, I said it.

When I flirt with you, it’s because I enjoy flirting, not because I’m in love with you. When I hook-up with you, it’s because I want to hook-up with you, not because I’m in love with you and want to have your babies. It’s really that easy.

What it takes to get me to commit to a relationship is a lot more complicated now than it was when I was in school. Back then if I met a guy whom I was attracted to and who had at least one or two good personality traits (could make me laugh, was smart, wrote pretty poetry) that was enough to make me want to label him my “boyfriend.” Not so much anymore. A bad relationship can be a great learning experience. I’ve had several bad relationships. I’ve learnt enough. So when I say that I just want to be friends, it’s because I think we’d have a “learn something” relationship. I’m an adult now, I don’t have time to learn things, I’m just trying to pay my rent.
That being said, just because I want to be friends right now doesn’t mean I won’t change my mind later. I had the unfortunate experience this year of realizing that I had feelings for a guy friend way too late in our relationship. I had my window to turn our friends-with-benefits situation into a relationship, I decided that I wasn’t into him in a boyfriend way, and I passed on the opportunity. Months later, I realized I was in love with him and it was way too late. Needless to say, we’re not friends anymore. I got my heart broken and I broke it all by myself.
“I don’t think of you in that way” is, more often than not, a lie. That’s like a guy denying he’s though about having sex with his female friends. Of course he has. He probably thinks about it all the time. I’ve considered different dating possibilities among my friends, even when we’ve been friends for a while, and, yeah, I’ve thought about what my guy friends would be like in bed. (Guys, you’re not the only ones with dirty minds!)

So, guys, here’s the deal, the next time I say to you, “I don’t think of you in that way,” I mean one of two things:

A. I’m not physically attracted to you. But I’d still love it if we could hang out.

B. I care about you deeply as a friend and I’m too mature to f*ck that up by trying to date you for a couple of weeks and then have it not work out. But you might want to check back in a few months because maybe I’ll change my mind.

It’s up to you to figure out if you’re a group A guy or group B guy.

another view on Ladder Theory by Intellectual Whores

Intellectual Whores
The Ladder Theory is one of my favorite theories of all time simply due to the sheer patheticness of it all. Basically, you've got guys who strike out with women so badly they rationalize it by saying "all women are stupid slut bitches and I'm a nice guy" and they call that a theory. I call it really sad.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

And nice guys! Moving on down the ladder- ladies

Women do want nice guys- guys that are nice to them- but can do 'damage' to other folks either through financial power or physical power! BUT, the guy in question must be nice to her!
Private chat with 3 girls last week, one with a truly nice husband who lets her have everything she wants--- hmmmmmmm young cute wife agreed when I said we respect them more when they make us'earn' our goodies! So, we get what we want and he keeps his gonads where they should be and tightly controlled in our manicured hand complete with very long fake nails that truly can control a man very easily when the nails are used properly.

In saying that- a 'man' wants a girl he will give things to if she knows this power rule as well.

We all respect and long over someone up on the ladder - so we must place ourselves there and once there keep our spot..... some hints on how to do that from Davina.

Both sexes like to play the upper-hand game- you just have to know which podium to put yourself on so you can seem admired by many-. And which podium he is on-- so you can keep yourself and him in a touch of reality........ HINT- if he thinks he is gorgeous- agree. He is just not a gorgeous as the guy that makes you coffee at Starbucks. If he thinks he is rich- he maybe is just not a rich as 'so and so'........

again more on that latter.

Also, sorry to both over 40 sexes- While the over 40 man with money can still afford the young hottie (cause the cost of keeping a more valuable older hottie could seriously dent his bankroll), your rank,as an older hottie (with maintenance issues) does not place you as high on his ladder as it once did. Older single (female) hotties will find it hard to attract the rich(male) hotties they could when they were younger.

Women---if you did have rich men on your good ladder--- it will be harder for you to find agreement with rich (male) hotties that are available to you now! They will not be as rich--- and then you know you have come down in value too..........ouchy!

Ladder Theory

Okay, now we have the men's concept of the ratings women have for men.
Where is the rating system men have for women?
What puts one woman on the 'I just want to fuck ladder'. The I want to fuck and date but not marry... the I want to fuck date and maybe marry?
I mean we all see 'skanks' with 'nice' men and sometimes they even marry the 'skanks'-- then we see the prudes with hot guys and they too married them.
Then we see the 'nice' girls that never marry and only find guys that to want fuck them----
come on guys help with this one.
My real question is why do some 'skanks' get the good men- and nice girls don't. This is the question that pisses us women off!

ah outlaw bikers and rich men

Yup. I can attest- the 'love of my life' was an arrogant, dynamic, barrel chested man that strangely enough was filthy rich- due to family -- and an interest in 'outlaw' biker gangs! He matched pretty much everything the ladder theory is saying.
Me-- well he was interested for a bit- then I did the unforgivable--- and let him know I thought he was 'hot'.
I had scored many points when I was gibbitizing with him, was not interested in his way over the top demeaner and such....... maybe having too much wine was also my downfall.
Ahh what I would not give to gibbitz with him again! This time on solid footing and knowing that truly he is not the kind of man that would of made my life wonderful.
However- body guards, drivers and custom Benzes, men with letters on leather jackets- far too many Harleys---- and a man that 'appears' to want YOU from all the women at his feet- is an incredible turn on.

The ladder theory!


Too funny and thanks poster.
This does remind me of an outing I had last night and some recent forays into the damning series of "Real Housewives of OC/New York, etc"
At a recent fund-raiser, where 'nice' girls were aplenty- two of the females stood out.
I dubbed them the "Real Housewives of Red Deer." Complete with far too tight clothes, they looked like overstuffed sausages just waiting to be poked - ah they were!
The hair was held up with far too much hairspray ala the 80's, bleached and yes even permed. The tits were held up like a buffet table to just under their chins, flashy light reflecting pants, shiny belts, far too much hairspray-- and the 3,000 bags. Yes, the bags had the bags!
Man was I miffed- who ever said being a trashing whore does not pay! It sure looked like it paid for them!
Then we get into the bio's of the skanks on the Real series, many of them former pole dancers, charged with various crimes and living in the luxury homes. Thank god I got a virtual tour of one of the houses- yuk had not been redone since the faux chateaux was built in the 80's and Hugh Hefner would of approved of the decor.
So, all is not all well in the lives of hoes- and now I can relax knowing that they too still are not living the dream.

check it out by googling and choose your own links
The ladder theory

Sunday, June 7, 2009

end of cool comments and articles on the globe and mail

Guys and ladies- now that the Globe has changed direction-- and everything in life section is about having babies- and us oldies have been kicked out we need a new place to rant and rave!
Well, here it is. Please send me via comments your ideas on blog articles. I know you are out there cause we have had some good chats on the globe and here!
So, I know of a few.
1)I have a male friend going through a divorce where he has been accused of the 'bad thing'... how can a woman do this without proof?

2) If you know of a wife or husband that has spent years not being an active spouse, parent at what time is a divorce 'called for'?

3) What is that men/women really want in a partner?

4) Why when I hit 50 do I think that that is when I might be ready to 'surrender' and think seriously of sharing my 'space' with a man?

5) What do men go through at mid-life?

6) What do women go through at mid-life?

7) What do we want the rest of our lives to hold?

Friday, May 29, 2009

Ditzy broads ! Menopause- and memory

Globe and Mail- Friday May 29th--

Yes friends, we are going to get into this menopause thing---opps wrong blog- well it can stay here as the men folks should get a hold on what in the heck is happening to the women around them ( someone needs to get a handle since us women going through this can't seem to!)

Yikes- this stuff is ugly-but if your co-worker is at this age and seems a little 'ditzy'-- most likely it is because of this-- -I have a story about a new job I had-- and how this worked into it!
For now--read below and I will touch base soon


You've probably heard of "a senior's moment." How about menopausal memory?

A new study shows that women approaching menopause, a period marked by major hormonal swings and unpleasant hot flashes, become slightly slower at learning new things.

"It isn't like you are forgetting stuff or can't learn stuff, but simply that it takes a bit longer to process information," said lead researcher Gail Greendale at the David Geffen School of Medicine at University of California, Los Angeles.

Dr. Greendale noted that many premenopausal women have commented on the fact that they don't feel as mentally sharp as they once did. Some women fear that they may be developing Alzheimer's disease.

The UCLA study is the first to chart those perceived cognitive changes in a systematic fashion.

The good news is that the memory problems are a "transient phenomenon," Dr. Greendale said. In the post-menopause period, their memory returns to the premenopausal level.

"Put into the words of The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, the bottom line is 'don't panic' - it's actually just temporary and it's going to go away."

For the study, the researchers recruited 2,362 women between the ages of 42 and 52 to cover the transition from pre-to-post menopause. The volunteers were put through a series of memory tests that were repeated over a four-year period.

Usually when people repeat a test, their performance tends to improve. But the study, published in journal Neurology, revealed that scores during "perimenopause" - the time when menstrual periods are less frequent but have not yet stopped - did not show the same degree of improvement, compared with either before or after menopause.

Perimenopause can last for several years.

Researchers aren't sure why women experience temporary memory problems, but they have a few theories. Dr. Greendale speculated the menopausal symptoms - such as hot flashes and night sweats - may prevent women from getting a good night's sleep which, in turn, impairs their cognitive functions during the day.

It's also possible that huge swings in hormone levels could be to blame. "The brain is chocked full of estrogen receptors in critical areas for memory," she noted.

The study also found that hormone replacement therapy seems to lessen the memory problems of perimenopause. Dr. Greendale cautioned that HRT should be taken for only the shortest time possible because prolonged use is associated with other health risks.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Men and women as friends- part 3,0012,000


Okay- this seems to be an issue
I have had men friends my entire life- I enjoy their company more than most women. Men tend to talk about events, politics, theories- not people and feelings to ad naseum.
Not that I don't enjoy a good chat about shoes and perfume sometimes.
I was so shocked when I was 13 and my male friends started getting weird on me- and asking me out! What?!
Since then, I have to admit many of my male friends have told me they actually wanted more than friends- but are happy with being a friend than not having me in their lives at all....
Also, my best friend likes to joke he is so happy that I did not find 'that special spark' with him.
He would of missed out on the true love of his life- a terrific girl who adores him. In addition he says "You would of been my second ex-wife."
You see I am not good wife or girlfriend material- I am kinda like the male bad boy. The one that is out fishing for a trophy- and ends up sport fishing instead - finding the throw back ones.
In reference to my behaviour- it should be noted that I became a 'housewife' at just 17---and have spent years in that role- granted with 3 different men. At this point in my life- should 'my trophy love' come around I want to be free to 'fall crazy in love with him.' My list of requirements for this are simply far too long for any true mortal male to fulfill. So single I am---and free to come and go and do as I please!
My male friends are also kind enough to indulge me in my delusion that I don't need a man!
They also keep their mouths shut about it!
Yes, they help me- fix my house, let my haul junk -actually they haul junk for me in their trucks, lend a hand- and strenght-with gardening ideas and a host of other things.
My best friend and I share a love of scotch and cooking and spend most of our time talking about this- while he makes me dinner at his house- with his lovely 'wife' there!
I have another friend that has picked up the slack and saved my sorry ass and fixed up my house after I got royally screwed by a contractor that I thought was my friend. He also takes me out to the most glorious places-- spoils me rotten and understands that I am not available for a relationship of anything greater than friends.
Yes, I am lucky- and I adore all of them- and they do help me out-- like taking care of a poor little sister that needs help- but is too damn stubborn to admit it.
To you guys thanks- and you think I didn't know!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Spoiled rotten!

I have just had my 47th birthday! Not that -that alone is amazing- but I have been saying I was 47 for so long- I thought I turned 48! Nope- me now 47!
In addition spoiled little girl- lovely dinners- nice wine with the momalitta.... full massage from the child--- and suprise -- the BESTEST chocolate ever and some perfume------now finally I have something to spray on me!
Thanks my good friend for the lovely gift!
and I am not 48- just only 47!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Man up. Suck it up. Be a man.

Since the globe and mail removed all the fun of chatting about this- I am posting it here!


POP ROCKS: THE POLITICS OF GENDER

Masculinity can't still be about steak and moose-skinning, guys

LYNN CROSBIE

Man up. Suck it up. Be a man.

But how? What is a real man? I read a lot of magazines (and looked at a lot of men for research, men in form-fitting uniforms and well-packed jeans) to find out.

According to The Godfather's patriarch, Vito Corleone, it is not someone like Johnny Fontane, who cries like a little girl when he is afraid (and gets slapped by Corleone for doing so). According to the kind of woman who enjoys chiselling away her mate's self-esteem and dignity, he is not a coward afraid to demand a raise forcefully or to punch a stranger for looking at his woman.


Masculinity can't still be about steak and moose-skinning, guys

And according to the new issue of Esquire, which promises to show readers "How To Be A Man," he is able to skin a moose, fell a tree, curse well, stop a running toilet and, appallingly, kill an injured animal. He is, further, someone "who makes things - a rock wall, a table, tuition money. Or he rebuilds - engines, watches, fortunes."

While Esquire's criteria seem pathetically dated and patently inauthentic - yeah, I am fairly old, but not old enough to fantasize about a dreamboat who fixes toilets well - the subject is not insignificant, as there appears to be a masculinity movement afoot. Not a Robert Bly-style "take back the cave" movement, but an informal quest to determine what exactly masculinity is today, evident in everything from bromance films, to post-Fratire books like Dick Masterson's Men Are Better Than Women, to the renaissance of guitar fuzz and metal bands like Mastodon.

I looked through the magazine section at Chapters recently, where the youngest men were reading about ultra-violent video games, the twentysomethings were looking shyly at Jennifer Love Hewitt's breasts (on the cover of the new Maxim), and the cement-heads scoping the astonishing variety of fitness mags. I grabbed Muscle & Fitness and read the feature Eat Like A Man.

Between gasping audibly at men so fit that their veins look like tanned King Cobras, I took note that salt, booze and bloody steak are sentimentally favoured by these apes who also express their manliness by shredding their abs during "thermonuclear training sessions" and getting jacked on supplements to make them "evil sons of bitches."

As extreme as these Ultimate Fighting Champion wannabes seem, a mainstream trend toward explosive masculinity raises disquieting questions about what "anti-violence educator" Jackson Katz (author of The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help) refers to as "the crisis in masculinity," a crisis he believes stems from "being the 'real guy' " lionized by so much pop culture.

Katz, as Bitch magazine's Shira Tarrant notes in an article, is fighting against these stark facts: "More than 90 per cent of serious domestic violence is perpetrated by men and ... men are involved in more than 95 per cent of all incidents of road rage." And Tarrant doesn't even cover 'roid rage! In other words, if we lionize men for putting possums out of their misery with the heels of their boots while saying, "I fixed that toilet good, huh, babe!" we may be cultivating a generation of pinheads who equate cruelty and ignorance with genuine masculinity.

Still, this sort of manly man is beginning to feel stale: While some women still like mean men (in the words of the inked and pierced rapper Rolling Stone calls "post-human," Lil Wayne, "Shawty wanna thug,"), every girl in the world is in love with the Twilight character Edward Cullen, a fictional vampire boy who is cultivated, mannerly, avoids stimulants like cola and is, like the Jonas Brothers, a virgin! Shawty wanna nice guy - a nice, alternative guy.

In the 1970s, the days of my youth, we liked men who wore makeup and had long hair and were tough and pretty. In the new Spin, there is a picture from that era that epitomizes this desire: It is Alice Cooper, the scary singer of I Love the Dead, skinny and shirtless, with long black hair and heavy eye makeup, wearing an elaborate diamond necklace.

Now, I feel that ambiguously beautiful boys are creeping back. There is the radiant androgynous actor Zac Efron (High School Musical), whom Interview magazine refers to as "the Future"; there is our own King Khan, of the 1960s-style garage-rock band King Khan and the Shrines, who calls himself a combination of Cleopatra and Rick James; and there is the Judd Apatow (Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall) crew, who spend each film exploring the limits of heterosexual male love affairs.

What is a real man?

He is an indeterminate age. He is a zombie-killing, biracial, body-modified bad-ass filled with mad love, brilliant faith and wild hope. And he is here to recruit you.

Last week's question

I wish to thank the many readers who responded to my question in last week's column (If Bruce Springsteen is, as accused, a serial cheater, is he still the Boss?), insisting that the Boss was still the Boss whether he cheated or not. (Another argued, quite eloquently, that he was a fake-populist hypocrite.) The consensus: "It ain't no sin to be glad the Boss is alive."

Next Week

Ain't I A Woman? Tell me what a real woman is.

Men and women just as friends

Can a man and a woman be just friends?

By Sarah Fielding - Click by Lavalife





Sometimes friendship between members of the opposite sex is as innocent -- and powerful -- as the bond between siblings. (Comstock)


In the classic romance, When Harry Met Sally..., Billy Crystal tells Meg Ryan men and women can never be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.

But research and personal experience have shown that having close friends of the opposite sex can be an enriching and positive experience that doesn't have to lead to the bedroom.

Men benefit from...

Insider information about 'what women want'
Dating and relationships advice from an independent, 'sisterly' source
Emotional support and understanding from a sympathetic female, when needed
The opportunity to meet -- and date -- her single friends
The opportunity to discuss shared 'feminine' hobbies or interests
Women benefit from...

Getting the scoop on what 'makes a man tick'
A sense of security and/or protection having a male friend affords
A less emotionally demanding friendship than one with another woman
The opportunity to meet -- and date -- his single friends
The opportunity to discuss shared 'masculine' hobbies or interests
That's all good in theory but it's not always easy to cope when your partner's best friend shops in the same underwear department as you. It's sometimes hard not to imagine that they secretly fancy your partner or to obsess about the amount of time they spend together.

And while becoming more common, best friends of the opposite sex still raise an eyebrow, and can be the cause of lots of tension and friction in relationships.


Here are some common cross-sex friendship scenarios.

Brotherly-Sisterly Love

Sometimes friendship between members of the opposite sex is as innocent -- and powerful -- as the bond between siblings.

"We've never been there, and we never will," says Phil, 30, referring to the 'sex thing.' "We're mates through and through -- she's like my little sister. It probably even upsets her a little bit that I don't think of her that way, she can be quite vain. But I love her."

When to worry: If your partner's friend is an ever-present element in your life. Close friendships are great but couples need time and space to develop and nurture their primary relationship.

The Emotional Substitute

A good friend is hard to find but are they really just friends or are they in denial about the true nature of their relationship?

"My friendship with Jeff was there before any boyfriends came along," says Danielle, 37, who met her male best buddy in high school, "and it's been there long after romances have fizzled out. We have something quite special that in a way is more committed and long-lasting than other relationships have been, for either of us."

When to worry: Sometimes a close friendship provides a person with an emotional connection that's lacking in their primary romantic relationship. If you feel this may be the case with your partner, it's worth raising the issue.

The Unrequited Lover

It's tough having an ex on the scene, especially one that reinvents him or herself as your partner's best friend. But is it friendship they're after or a second bite of the cherry?

"If I'd known that Damien had actually shagged my girlfriend, I wouldn't have been so keen to have him hanging around," says Bill, 27. "She said it was a once-off and that it didn't mean anything, but I'm not so sure he sees it like that. It does make me feel uncomfortable having him in the picture," he says.

When to worry: If the ex still harbors feelings for your partner -- or worse, your partner is still carrying a torch -- you could have a tricky situation on your hands. Discuss your feelings with your partner and make an effort to spend more time with him or her... alone.

The Creepy Crawly

Sometimes, your partner's self-esteem and confidence is bound up in their friendship with a person of the opposite sex.

"My girlfriend Lee has a good male friend -- I call him 'The Guru.' He's into all sorts of New Age stuff, and she's forever chatting to him about star signs and crystals and other rubbish," says Ben, 25. "He's always offering to massage her shoulders. I think he's a sleaze, but she doesn't see it."

When to worry: If your partner and their best buddy have a level of intimacy or affection that makes you uncomfortable, it's best to speak your mind or jealousy will kill any hopes your romantic relationship has.

If your partner's opposite-sex friendship is really bothering you, ask yourself why? Is it unfounded insecurity or even jealousy... or is there something more to it?




This story was posted on Fri, February 22, 2008

Friends- men and women!

The on-going debate!
I think men and women can be friends- I have some great male friends- my best friend is a guy...... but they can only be friends when they know there are no 'romantic' interests- and they have no romantic interests.
Secretly, I crave a new best gay friend- I don't presently have any--- too bad for me but I was in the first wave of the AIDS crisis and my gay friends all passed away before we even fully understood what was happening to them.
Find attached a new article on how to spot a male/female friendship and the warning signs that this 'friendship' may not be what it is presented as.....
and I am sure the debate will continue--- BUT-- I have male friends- and I am gonna keep them!

Monday, April 20, 2009

50 Birthday party

I had the greatest weekend I have had in a long time. One of the highlights was my brother's 50th Birthday party.

In attendance a colorful collection of boys that had 'mis-spent youths', 'boys' now all around 50!



Amazing! I could not believe looking at my brother that this was the boy that took me on the back of the little lawn tractor to the back 40 to catch frogs. Which we brought back to my grandparents farm house, built 'houses' for them and could not figure out how they escaped in the night. The same little boy that played in the sandbox with me building farms and roads, painted my playhouse every summer, hid under my bed to scare me when I went to bed, and of course threw my teddy on the roof!



Most of the friends there he/I had known since he was 16 when we moved to this city. The sexy bad boy that had long blond ringlets is now bald- still sexy as hell in a Bruce Willis way..... most are a tad heavier, most have hair, and most have not really changed that much!



It was the comment from one on his 'goatee' that he could not let it get too long or the grey overpowered it that set off the conversation!



"Yeah, I know. This grey hair"

"Ah, just shave your head!

"Nope, I use the dye for men"



I almost fell over! Here are men I have known for years talking about dying their hair. Who knew!



One commented most about his beard... I did not have the guts to tell him I knew what he was talking about..... I have one grey hair that grows out of the side of my chin and I swear it grows overnight, in one night- to about an inch and a half and is the thickness of a small tree!



Nope, I kept the fact that I understood his beard situation to myself.



So guys -yup some of us girls have the grey beard hairs too!



Happy Birthday big brother- I am still in training for 50 and hopefully by then will have my grey chin hair under control!

Friday, April 3, 2009

50 things I should of been told about women 30 years ago.


Find following a lovely message I recieved from a very good- long standing male friend (sounds better then 'old friend').
thanks secret friend!


1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.
2. Real men drive stick shift.
3. I will leave if you lie.
4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).
5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.
6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.
7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.
8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.
9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.
10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.
11. I expect you to call me.
12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.
13. I'm scared of losing my independence.
14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.
15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.
16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)
17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.
18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.
19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.
20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.
21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.
22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.
23. You should never tell me what to do.
24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.
25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.
26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.
27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.
28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.
29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.
30. I want to be Madonna.
31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.
32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.
33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.
34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.
35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.
36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.
37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....
38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.
39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.
40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.
41. I love it when you're sweaty.
42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.
43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.
44. I like porn.
45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.
46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.
47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...
48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.
49. I remember everything about our relationship.
50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.why didnt anyone tell me this before?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Women just not that into it


Okay- I have noticed- many women of a certain age are simply not that into guys anymore.....well if you watch Oprah it appears many are switching teams!
I find that interesting and hoping someone can help me with that- any opinions would be great.
But, I do understand why after awhile women are not interested any more in a relationship/marriage/ living together thing.
Firstly, many women have been taking care of men and children for 20 -30 years and now they want a break.
Sorry, but making sure there is bread and butter in the kitchen, dinner coming off the stove, enough Tide beside the washer and patience to listen to another story of how hard the day was just gets tired after awhile. So does farting in bed, listening the sound of the morning pee when the door is not closed!
I think, that many women are now wanting some time to paint, draw, garden, write a novel, or short stories, read romance novels, study french, what-ever it is they want to do and not have to answer to anyone!
Men, I think, once they are older, spend their younger lives working their behinds off---(not that women do not as well) but men it seems like to have the 'relationship' when they get older-- and forgot about us while they were getting the $$$ together- and now we are not interested in the relationship anymore- we just want peace!

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

How long will you live?


I just did this quiz and got 98 year old!!!

Whoa! I was quitting smoking, drinking and deciding to grow up-- but if I am going to live this long with my lifestyle- I best up the ante!
I don't want to live this long- I will be the drooling lady in the corner talking to the flowers on the drapes of the old folks home!
I was thinking around 85 would be good- travel with a knap-sack for a few years around the world like a teenager- spend the money from the sale of the house- come back and live with the kid- then croak around 85.
Shit 98-- that is wayyyy too long to have to live with the kid- or staring at the flowered drapes in the old folks home.
take the quiz for yourself
and what do you plan on doing in your dottage?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

travel!

yikes- here in Edmonton it is still below freezing, we got more snow on the weekend, the economy is collapsing at the same speed my butt seems to be heading south-- and the only thing not going south is the rest of my body! (There are moments I am sure my mind is going south).
So, I just found this new site
http://www.internationalliving.com/
and I plan on checking it out!
What are we doing? Hanging in up here for a few more years of what? I have no pension, no long tenure at a terrific job- what am I waiting for- till I am too old to do anything.... why not sell out now- travel a few years and then come back when I get the government pension......
At any rate- this is a nice way to get some escapism...... sometimes we need some of that!
Geezh- I have raised the kids, the husband(s) and now just want to run away and take care of no-one but me- answer to no-one but me!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Pets and partners


Grrr! When your pet hates your partner

Well, as anyone that knows me knows I take the pets over the partner!
But this blog is for folks that actually want to share thier bed with a two legged partner---
so you best be up on your animal rules and expectations if you want to play in your partners 'off leash park'.



A territorial cat or dog can make a new relationship messy
When pets and lovers clash, there can be fussing, fighting, snarling — and sometimes, peeing.


Every morning, Jill Kessler whispered sweet nothings to her rottweiler, Tor. “I love you; you’re my sweetest boy,” she’d coo to him. One morning, she heard a voice from the other room: “I love you, too, honey,” her husband, Steve, called to her.

Luckily for Kessler, who lives in Pacific Palisades, Calif., her husband remains good-natured about the affection she lavishes on her dogs, but the path to true love isn’t always so smooth when a pet is involved.

Pets can become territorial when their people begin a new relationship, and people who aren’t fond of animals can be annoyed at the amount of attention some people lavish on their pets. When pets and lovers clash, there can be fussing, fighting, snarling — and sometimes, peeing.


Susan McCullough of Vienna, Va., recalls dating a man whose German shepherd didn’t appreciate her being around.

“I woke up one morning to find the dog lifting his leg and peeing at my corner of the bed, very close to my face!” she says.

Some messy reactions
It’s not unusual for cats and dogs to express their anxieties over a new person in the household by seeming to forget that they’re housetrained, says veterinarian and animal behaviorist Sophia Yin, who practices at San Francisco Veterinary Specialists. In particular, cats who are stressed have a reputation for urinating or spraying on items that belong to their owner, especially clothing or bedding.

“They choose things that smell like the owner because that’s where they feel comfortable,” Dr. Yin says. “The owner shouldn’t take it as the cat being malicious; it’s just an indication that the cat — or dog — is stressed.”

When people bring their dogs to her because of a relationship problem, the troublemaker is often a pampered small dog who’s used to being carried around, petted and given frequent treats.

“With dogs, I more commonly see the ones that are really used to getting everything they want from their owner, so they want all of the owner’s attention,” Yin says. “They’re the type of dog that is always jumping on the owner’s lap and won’t get off. Sometimes they’ll growl if pushed off, or they’ll bark and they’ll keep pawing until they get what they want or they get picked up. When a new person enters the household, they don’t want that person competing with them for attention.”

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Learn which kinds of pooches are best suited to your lifestyle.
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When cats don’t like people, they usually run and hide. But dogs can turn into canine chaperones, nudging people apart so they can sit between them, growling at them when the partner tries to get into bed and even barring them from the bedroom.

Dog trainer Liz Palika of Oceanside, Calif., had been married less than a month in 1975 when her husband was shipped overseas for a 13-month tour with the U.S. Marine Corps.

“I was devastated and depressed and very lonely, so I decided to get a dog, a German shepherd puppy I named Watachie,” she says. “For a year, it was just the two of us. He was a big black-and-cream 100-pound dog with the impressive bearing that German shepherds have.”

When Palika’s husband Paul finally returned, Watachie didn't want to let him in the house.

“Standing in the doorway, he braced himself, leaned forward in an aggressive posture, and growled down deep in his chest. I had to walk him outside and leave him in the backyard so my husband and I could have a reunion.”

Afterward, she introduced the two males in her life to each other and had Paul feed Watachie for a while, take him for walks and throw the Frisbee for him. Eventually, Paul and Watachie came to like each other, but Palika says there was always a little tension between the two.

When your partner resents your pet
It’s not always the pet whose teeth are bared. Gail C. Parker of Philadelphia was married for almost 15 years to a man who resented the affection and attention she lavished on her pets. When they married, he didn’t want her to get a cat, so they acquired an Irish setter and a rabbit instead. He hated it when the dog cuddled in her lap and "and he was afraid of the rabbit, which had been his idea to get," Parker says.

The couple’s arguments over their pets were among many larger issues in their marriage, and eventually, they divorced.

It can be difficult for people who don’t have a pet to understand the benefit of animal companionship, says psychologist Judy Welch of Thousand Oaks, Calif. They may feel left out when their romantic partner is paying attention to a pet, causing feelings of irritation, jealousy, resentment and insecurity. It’s especially crucial for people in a new relationship who really want it to work out to take steps to sort out the tangled web of emotions whether the person or the animal is the aggrieved party.

If you find yourself courting a curmudgeonly cat or disdainful dog, become the giver of all good things. Treats, meals, favorite toys, walks in the park: they all come from you. If the animal is fearful (which is often the case with cats who weren’t socialized as kittens) toss treats to them in rapid succession every time you approach.

With dogs, Yin recommends a “joined-at-the-hip” technique.

“When I want to get this trained really fast, if we want to get a change within days to a week or two, then I’ll have the new person tether the dog to them so the dog can’t just blow them off and run to the person it likes,” she says. “The new person will give (the dog) treats or their kibble throughout the day or whenever they’re home. The dog learns, ‘New person equals good things for me and I have to actually pay attention to the new person; I can’t just get it for free.’ ”


Heavy petting: When animals dog a new relationship
Stressed over a test? Pet your pooch
Pet owners skipping vet visits as economy sinks
Dogs and cats with OCD? You betcha
Getting dogged: When your pet cheats on you

To “retrain” human partners, use positive reinforcement when you see your new significant other interacting with your pet — praise and a kiss work across species — and use what Welch calls “the shoe exchange,” the time-honored technique of gaining a new perspective by putting yourself in another’s shoes. Ask yourself such questions as “What might be annoying about my pet?” or “What would it feel like if I was not an animal lover?”

Describe how your pet makes you happy and what’s involved in providing for a pet’s needs. A little education can help diminish a lover’s feelings of insecurity.

“This is especially important when one of the parties has no context of pet ownership,” Welch says. “Teaching someone how to best engage with your pet can be helpful. This would demonstrate caring toward the other person and a desire for them to be involved with your pet.”

Compromise is essential in any relationship, but if the person you’re dating issues an ultimatum — “It’s me or the pet” — think twice about whether this is really someone you want to be with. After all, which one is giving you unconditional love?

Kim Campbell Thornton is an award-winning author who has written many articles and more than a dozen books about dogs and cats. She belongs to the Dog Writers Association of America and is past president of the Cat Writers Association. She shares her home in California with three Cavalier King Charles spaniels and one African ringneck parakeet.