Monday, July 6, 2009

A man's viewpoint---'The Scribbler- writes!

For a long, long time after my divorce, I promised myself that never again would I allow myself to be suckered into a relationship that I know in my heart of hearts would be no good for me.
Alas, that meant turning down a lot of good possibilities.
Oh, sure, I went out with a lot of women and had a lot of fun. There's something to be said for "sowing one's wild oats" in their 40s when one actually knows what one is doing (especially sexually). But most of those relationships were very short-term (because that's the way I wanted it) and were devoid of any deep, meaningful connection.
But with the experience of years and the fact that I've lived alone for nearly a decade, I'm starting to finally realize that I was looking for a made-to-measure fit in an off-the-rack world.
There was, and is, one particular woman that I'd be very interested in getting to know romantically, but she's simply not interested in me. We've already had the discussion, and she says that I'm "nice" (is there any bigger insult?) but she just doesn't feel "chemistry."
That frustrates me tremendously because she won't even give it a chance. But, of course, no one person can make another person do or feel anything. "Baring my soul" to her and telling her how I feel might look good in a Hollywood movie context, but the reality was far different.
So I'm back in the dating world, trying to weed out the gold-diggers (gawd, they're EVERYWHERE!!) and drama queens and those laden with tons and tons of baggage.
Now, I don't believe for a moment that "you'll know it when you feel it" and "let the universe unfold as it should" and "good things come to those who wait." If you want something to happen, you have to make it happen.So I'm trying to make it happen.

5 comments:

Chanel said...

AH! Wonderful-- but?
Some of us have never been 'in love'- never felt that "I know it" from the beginning. Some of us have taken the more 'mature' way and thought- "good person, it will grow on me'... and it never did.
So , when so many people I know- younger and older-- are settling... why shoud we do it- yet again?
I want to be swept off my feet- I want to be spoiled, pampered, think of him before I go to sleep-- I want all of the fairytale.
Honestly, why be with someone if they can not at least in the beginning be your everything?
Sorry, but I am holding out- I may not ever met him- may meet him when I am 70- but I want 'it'. I am willing to stay sinlge- just in case 'he' does show up.
Fireworks and all- I will wait.. I deserve it.

The Scribbler said...

"I want all of the fairytale."

Reality check. Read this carefully because no truer words were ever spoken (or written):

The fairytale does not exist.

It is a figment of the imaginings of Hollywood screenwriters and authors of cheesy romance novels.

Banish that thought from your head right away. It's a myth.

Sorry, but really... it doesn't exist.

Anonymous said...

Is all your Scorn and excessive wining done there boy?

Anonymous said...

wining?? Don't you mean whining or something like that?

Chanel said...

ah well- I am still with the fairytale.
The harshness of unfiltered reality is far too painful.
The misery I see everyday with almost all relationships is too much. Why in the world would I want to enter into that?
If I cannot have my prince- then I will be fine ruling my own "Queendom' alone.
I truly do not understand why so many people want 'relationships'... gosh the funny part is - after a certain age it is the men that want them much more then women.
I think women are happy to finally get some peace and quiet, do what we want, cook or don't cook.
Nope- I am sticking with my fairytale because for me it would take that much to convince me not to stay single.